As parents, we play a crucial role in supporting our children’s emotional growth and development. One powerful concept that can deeply impact your child’s well-being, that we often use in Play Therapy, is that of “holding space”.
Holding space means creating a safe, accepting, and non-judgmental environment for your child to freely explore and express their feelings through play. This practice encourages emotional healing and self-awareness, fostering a strong parent-child connection.
But what does holding space look like at home? Let’s explore some practical examples:
Being Fully Present:
Holding space starts with being present in your child’s playtime. When they engage in imaginative play or creative activities, join them without trying to direct the play. Simply observe and let them take the lead, expressing themselves in their unique way.
Active Listening:
When your child opens up about their feelings, be an active listener. Put away distractions and give them your full attention. Validate their emotions by acknowledging what they are saying without judgment. For instance, if they share a concern about a friend at school, you might respond, “I hear you, and it sounds like you’re feeling worried about your friend.”
Offering Comfort:
Sometimes, children need reassurance and comfort during playtime, especially when they’re dealing with challenging emotions. Be there to provide comfort when needed, whether it’s a hug, a gentle touch, or just sitting close to them as they play.
Avoiding Fixing and Rescuing:
As parents, it’s natural to want to solve every problem for our children. However, holding space means allowing them to navigate their own challenges and find their solutions. Instead of immediately offering solutions, ask open-ended questions to help them explore possible options.
Embracing Silence:
Silence can be a powerful way to hold space for your child. When they are quiet or seem lost in thought, resist the urge to fill the silence with words. Instead, let them process their feelings at their own pace.
Creating a Safe Environment:
Ensure your home is a safe space for emotional expression. Let your child know that it’s okay to feel and express their emotions without fear of judgment or punishment. By creating this environment, you encourage open communication and emotional honesty.
Allowing space for all emotions is an important aspect of holding space. Recently, when my daughter was clearly upset, I was trying to cheer her up by offering distractions and solutions. She looked me dead in the eyes and said: “Mommy! Just let me be angry!” Respecting her request, I let her experience her emotions without interference. This allowed her to feel heard and understood, and after a while, she naturally moved through her emotions and was ready to talk about it. Holding space for all emotions fosters trust and connection, empowering children to process their feelings in their own time.
“When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”
Carl Rogers
Holding space is about allowing your child to feel seen, heard, and understood. By being fully present, actively listening, offering comfort without fixing, and creating a safe environment, you can hold space for your child at home and help them develop emotional resilience that will serve them throughout their lives.
